Saturday, January 29, 2011

Delving into the past....to look for my future

Today was another day hard at work tidying the clutter in my external life.  It actually marked the end of a very drawn out process that began last week, hitting a high point yesterday when I finally completed my 2009-2010 tax return, and finished today with a cull of the filing cabinet.  My shredder has never worked so hard in it's life!  I came across a stash of very old letters - including some interesting (and embarrassing) ones from past loves - which led me to reflect on where I am today.

Interestingly, I discovered in one of letters that I was doubting my long term desire to be a nurse, even before I had finished uni!  But, even today, when people ask me what I would like to do as an alternative, I cannot put my finger on a satisfactory answer.  I was adamant after completing my disastrous work experience in Year 10 (will not name the facility other than it was a private hospital in the eastern suburbs of Melb) - where I spent the entire two weeks filing and brushing false teeth (but not at the same time haha) - that there was no way I was going to be a nurse, nor be involved in health care in way whatsoever.

I entertained ideas about journalism - I still love current affairs and the like - but I wasn't particularly gifted when it came to putting down my thoughts into the written word.  Unlike now you all may say.  Loved reading - and still do - but writing reviews and essays didn't exactly 'rock my boat' so an average B - C student in English I became.  Not good enough for a career in the field.

But, after reading a "course" of letters from a long-term boyfriend at the time, I can track the progress of my decision to enter nursing.  I won't go into the details other than to say my resolve not to nurse slowly dissipated over time and was replaced by a strong desire to do so - supported very strongly by my beau who was considering a similar career path for himself (he ended up becoming an upholsterer instead - don't ask me how or why?).

Of course, when I started uni it was easy to get into the swing of things and I found I actually enjoyed it far more than I thought 2 years previously.  The career suited my personality type - a people pleaser and a carer.  And here I am 20 years later (far out that makes me feel old!), my nursing registration still current but finally looking outside the "square" of traditional nursing / nursing management.  I am facing my future (again)...

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